Top in gay term

He believes that defining penetration as the sole standard for sex is a heteronormative construct that gay people have the opportunity to challenge. E very month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world go on the Grindr app to look for sex with other men. The only other choice available toggles between those roles: verse for versatile.

The terms top, bottom and versatile do not necessarily refer literally to physical position during sex. He sees a side approach as useful for straight people as well, including women who find penetrative sex painful or who prefer oral techniques. The approach can also reintroduce sex to gay and straight men who have erectile issues, because side techniques can make orgasm easier to achieve for some.

But it made plenty of sense to people like Kort. Kort said most of the men had found their way to the group via the TikTok videos he has created to spread the word. In the last eight months, however, membership has doubled to reach 5, Posts by sides young and old come from around the world.

These terms are not always limited to describing sexual preferences, sexual activity or roles. In , he wrote a piece about it for the Huffington Post, which introduced the word to the broader culture. Kort, like many sides, believes that lots of men with similar interests are still in the closet about it.

Last month, however, that finally changed. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex — a crucial criterion for most gay men — the possibilities have long been simply top and bottom. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture.

The term side was coined in by the sex therapist and author Dr Joe Kort, but only in the last year has it gained glimmers of acknowledgment in the wider gay world. Discover the diverse world of gay male identities including top, bottom, and versatile roles. Eighteen months ago, Dr Kort made a private Facebook group page called Side Guys to give the men a forum for acceptance and, perhaps, to start a movement.

Accepting Diversity Being verse means accepting a variety of sexual roles. Sides are men who find fulfillment in every kind of sexual act except anal penetration. Kort sees the opposite. Nomenclature for the. A person with the role of verse can be both the giver and receiver of penetration in sex.

The term “verse”, in the gay community refers to a person who does not identify strictly as “top” or “bottom” in sexual activities, and who can enjoy both roles. Soon it was picked up by Urban Dictionary. Shaking hands? [29] For example, if the inserting partner lies on his back and the receptive partner straddles him, the inserting partner is still considered the top, and the receptive partner the bottom, despite their reverse physical arrangement.

Are you a virgin? A top is someone who prefers to be the person in control during sex. At their core, “top,” “bottom,” and “vers” are terms used to describe a person’s preferences in bed as it pertains to sexual positions and/or power dynamics. To ease that feeling in himself and others, he began to talk about it in retreats and in presentations he hosted.

Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Here is a general idea of what it means to be a top, bottom, or verse. Other men have been fashioning their own informational videos on TikTok, including the model Barrett Pall, who has 1.

They can also be loaded with expectations, assumptions and social stereotypes. Things began slowly for the group, with members first joining by the tens, and then by the hundreds. Hence, terms like “top”, “bottom”, and “versatile” (or “vers”) were born, becoming an all-too-important cultural norm in the gay world.

The terms tops and bottoms are commonly used in LGBTQ+ communities—most often among queer men, but also within other parts of the community. Some people even see the side role as an expression of internalized homophobia. Henry said he was inspired to create the piece after hearing some younger men use the term in gay bars in the last year.

Learn how to navigate preferences and communication in online dating. Why am I ashamed of this? At the same time, the LA-based gay comedian Michael Henry has created a hilarious, but sympathetic, mock-tutorial on sides that has earned more than , YouTube views in the last few weeks, making it one of his most viewed clips.